I really feel unusually relieved to be in a foreign country instructing a writing workshop this election day, as I used to be in the course of the stunning consequence of the 2016 election. However though I’m in Malta, not California, I’m eager about and praying for the soul of my nation each single day of my absence. I’m additionally feeling all of the feels in a means that jogs my memory of a Buddha statue I noticed in Thailand throughout my Sacred Medication pilgrimages. The statue had many faces, and the faces had quite a lot of expressions- unhappy, offended, scared, joyful, disillusioned. My components processing companion Emma and I wound up calling it the “IFS Buddha,” as a result of it expressed so many components in a single Buddha physique.
That’s a bit how I really feel proper now- unhappy, scared, anxious, offended, disillusioned, hopeful, grateful, relieved- abruptly.
Let me see if I can provide voice to a couple of those components. I’m feeling an excessive quantity of election anxiousness, the likes of which surpasses even my 2020 election anxiousness. This election, I really feel legit scared that, irrespective of who wins the election, there could possibly be violence at dwelling, that harmless folks might get damage, that battle might escape, that riot might happen- once more. I really feel frightened that detention camps might pop up, that politicians might get assassinated, that democide might start.
I do know I might really feel the way in which I did in 2020- profound reduction. I additionally know I might really feel the fear I felt on my daughter’s birthday- January 6- after I noticed the media protection of Proud Boys and different American civilians in riot gear storming the Capitol.
I nonetheless hearken to my Kamala Harris For President playlist (which you’re welcome to take pleasure in with me here) virtually each day- as a result of it elicits hope in me. It additionally elicits the concern of hopes being dashed, of being let down by my nation once more, like I felt in 2016. I really feel anger and rage each morning after I get up in a Maltese time zone to learn the terrible issues that MAGA Republicans did the day earlier than. Generally I even get a shocking sprint of excitement- as a result of, nicely, chaos positive as hell isn’t boring, even when components of me would a lot somewhat be bored in peace than overstimulated by chaotic change and uncertainty. Then I really feel exhaustion when my activist components assume, “Are we actually nonetheless protesting this shit?” And that makes me so unhappy. So unhappy that there’s nonetheless a lot divisiveness, a lot hatred, a lot injustice, a lot oppression.
After which after I cut back and go much less meta, I can really feel completely happy once more. Pleasure. Love. Gratitude for the way privileged I’m to be protected when so many usually are not. Gratitude that I stay in a rustic that has not had battle on our personal soil since Pearl Harbor- and, type of, 9/11. Gratitude that I wasn’t born BIPOC or queer or a Dreamer in a rustic that’s usually hostile to individuals who have been, but in addition survivor’s guilt that I did nothing to earn these random privileges.
Like me, you might have many components with a whole lot of emotions emerge within the upcoming days.
My invitation is to permit all of them to be right here. As Rumi says in his poem The Visitor Home:
This being human is a visitor home.
Each morning a brand new arrival.
A pleasure, a despair, a meanness,
some momentary consciousness comes
as an sudden customer.
Welcome and entertain all of them!
Even when they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your home
empty of its furnishings,
nonetheless, deal with every visitor honorably.
He could also be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The darkish thought, the disgrace, the malice,
meet them on the door laughing,
and invite them in.
If you need extra assist feeling all of the feels and attending to know your components, please be part of me and Jeff Rediger for a weekend of life assessment in YOUR IMPACT & YOUR LEGACY. We’ll be guiding of us by an exploration of your feelings, your priorities, how life has gone to this point, and what you would possibly want to change as we enterprise into 2025. With a lot uncertainty in our midst, we take consolation in coming together- with our personal components and with every other- to concentrate on what we DO have management over, so we will extra gently navigate what’s out of our management.
The early chicken low cost for YOUR IMPACT & YOUR LEGACY ends [fill in], so enroll quickly.
Till then, I’m right here biting my nails and hoping all my catastrophizing components become mistaken and that my hopeful components are rewarded for his or her optimism.
Want you all as a lot Self as you may muster within the days to return, particularly the trauma survivors amongst you who can get very dysregulated in occasions of uncertainty.
Keep in mind, breathe…and push, identical to labor. We are able to do arduous issues.
