A great listener not solely focuses in your phrases, however what’s in your thoughts. Do you will have the next qualities of an excellent listener?
After we’re consistently fixated on what we’re going to say subsequent, or how individuals have interpreted what we’ve already mentioned, we overlook that honing the qualities of an excellent listener is equally essential to the dialog. This video from The London School of Life reminds us how an excellent listener conjures up quietly as an alternative of nagging endlessly.
4 Qualities of a Good Listener
1) A great listener asks: “What’s in your thoughts?”
After we’re attempting to make powerful choices, an excellent listener makes use of light encouragement to assist tease out what’s actually on the coronary heart of our anxieties.
It’s not at all times simple for us to know what’s bothering us—a mild and constructive push with an excellent query can encourage us to discover what’s on our minds, and assist make clear what is likely to be inflicting us hassle.
2) Good listeners transcend anecdotes
It’s laborious to search out the basis of the place our emotions comes from, however simple to easily point out that one thing is gorgeous or horrible, good or annoying.
A great listener can assist us make clear it.
They search for the larger image by taking your piecemeal thought or criticism and turning it into strong concepts by connecting it together with your broader historical past, bringing anecdotal ideas up in opposition to underlying points.
3) The great listener is aware of how distinctive all of us are
Good listeners enable us to be vulnerable—they don’t invite us to open up after which instantly reject us for our follies.
As an alternative, their skillful and helpful small suggestions could make tense moments of dialogue simpler. For instance, the little constructive strategic sounds, like “MMMMMM……” that delicately alerts sympathy with out intruding on what we’re attempting to say.
Good listeners enable us to be susceptible—they don’t invite us to open up after which instantly reject us for our follies.
With out judgement and criticism, we are able to be at liberty and protected to precise our emotions with out worrying about shedding our dignity—or a friendship.
4) Good listeners separate disagreement from criticism
A good friend who possesses the qualities of an excellent listener is prepared to construct a protected setting for you and make it easier to to be your self. You don’t have to be afraid shedding them when you’ve got any disagreement with them—they make it clear that their firm will not be dependent upon an unattainable state of perfection.
