I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.
After I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I develop into obsessive about studying every thing I can about it.
I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s type system, colour evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.
I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, stylish garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Mushy Basic in Kibbe’s type system.
These methods and labels will be useful as a result of they validate and make sure what we already learn about ourselves. They assist us title complicated ideas and supply parameters that cut back evaluation paralysis.
However there’s one downside.
My curiosity in these methods and persona assessments begins as excited curiosity after which rapidly slips into an all-consuming have to get every thing ‘proper.’ It’s straightforward for an curiosity to develop into an obsession (and due to Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).
So are these methods truly useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘greatest’ or ‘proper’ choice?
Immediately I’m sharing what I’ve discovered from these methods, how we discover which means via them, and why I actually assume we wish to label ourselves.
The rise of packing containers and labels
Let’s begin by speaking about totally different methods and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.
Forewarning: after studying this, chances are you’ll fall into a few of your individual rabbit holes.
Kibbe Physique Varieties
Launched within the Eighties, David Kibbe’s style system relies on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the everyday fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and so forth.) however somewhat how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or quick you appear.
The concept is to decorate in a means that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve all the time struggled to make clothes traits work, however you couldn’t determine why. Your Kibbe physique kind would possibly provide you with some clues.
You’ll be able to strive to determine which sort you’re utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself may give an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, individuals really feel they haven’t any selection however to find out their very own kind, and there are subreddits to assist individuals determine it out.
It’s all good enjoyable if you’re getting began, however it will probably rapidly develop into irritating if you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught attempting to comply with the rules.
Coloration Evaluation
Color analysis (aka discovering your “greatest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full pressure. Are you a winter, summer time, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, vibrant or muted, gentle or deep?
They are saying realizing your colours will assist you to look harmonious in your garments, and also you gained’t should put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the give you the results you want (the truth that that is primarily focused at ladies bettering their appears is a subject for an additional time).
The issue is that some individuals fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 totally different digital colour analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in several seasons.
I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me do this now that I learn about colour evaluation. The perfectionist in me needs an identical wardrobe.
Astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others via the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo in the present day than it was prior to now.
Astrology may give you a greater understanding of who you’re and assist you to interpret your present section of life. You could know you’re a Leo, however are you aware the place the moon was if you had been born and the way that will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars at present is and the way that will have an effect on your motivation ranges?
Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”
Whereas astrology will be useful if you know the way to make use of it, utilizing it within the flawed means can create adverse stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
There’s one other system associated to astrology referred to as Human Design which might help you perceive the best way to stay your day by day life with ease.
Relying in your kind, you possibly can decide whether or not the very best use of your power is to be an initiator of latest concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues finished (Mills), to comply with your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and mirror again what you study (Reflectors).
This one opened my eyes to the concept our fashionable world tells everybody they have to be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals are usually not designed to make use of their power that means (maybe that is one motive why burnout and power fatigue are so prevalent in the present day).
Why we put ourselves in packing containers
Perhaps you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these methods have by no means piqued your curiosity.
Both means, we people wish to put individuals into packing containers even once we say we don’t.
The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY in search of to grasp about myself via these methods?
For me, the attraction is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.
If I do know that I’m a sure physique kind within the Kibbe system and my colour season is True Autumn, perhaps I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t go well with me.
If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Kind Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.
Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who needs a algorithm to comply with as a result of I feel that may make my life simpler.
However is in search of an out of doors system as an inside guidebook the way in which to go?
In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Systems vs. life’, he writes:
Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that might by some means stay life for us, on our behalf, so that when we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t should face the messiness and discomfort of really exhibiting up, second after second.
If I actually dig deep, I would like these methods to provide me confidence in myself once I really feel unworthy.
Perhaps if I comply with the principles and pointers completely, I gained’t should take care of any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.
However life doesn’t work that means.
Changing into too reliant on an out of doors algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or excellent.
The search for self-understanding shouldn’t develop into a pursuit of perfection.
Are these methods pointless?
So, if we will’t depend on these packing containers and methods to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re utterly pointless?
I don’t assume so. In any case, they might help us make sense of the world and discover which means in summary methods.
It’s completely comprehensible to desire a sense of which means in life since nobody needs to waste their time and power. However looking for the right system and attempting to comply with it to a T would possibly finish in wasted time and power anyway.
A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us once we’re not pushing, not searching for answers, and never attempting to make issues excellent. All you need to do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both means.
In the long run, attempting to depend on any system apart from your individual inner knowing will lead you additional away from what you need and wish.
Let your self comprise multitudes
Figuring out your persona traits or discovering your excellent colours isn’t essentially going to alter your life or provide the confidence you search.
There’s nothing flawed with utilizing these sorts of methods and labels; you simply should method them from a spot of curiosity somewhat than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it could be time to let go.
In the event you actually need to really feel assured in your self, settle for which you can be a number of issues directly. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your individual pointers for all times as an alternative.
I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I would like to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.
